So this post isn’t a build but a personal one. I have been doing a lot of thinking about life in general and why people do the things they do. I feel like this is what it would feel like to go through a mid-life crisis but I’m only 25, unless this is a sign!!
Ok seriously though, I think all of the recent changes in my life have helped me come to the realization and appreciation that life is too short. Really think about that over-used phrase “life is too short,” it really is. Think about all of the things you want to do and about how long it would take you to master them or realistically learn them or complete them. you couldn’t do everything without sacrificing others.
For example, me and my crazy decided it would be awesome to become an MMA (what UFC is) fighter so I started looking into classes and found other martial arts that I wanted to take like Akido and Kenpo. Why you ask… well why not?! I want to be in shape and I want to be able to say “oh btw I’m an MMa fighter, yea, I know it’s awesome…” I don’t want to compete though, I like my face and teeth where they are too much for that but it would get me into killer shape! There wouldn’t be a costume I wouldn’t do after that workout! (I told you this would be somewhat relevant)
Back to topic, there’s no way that with work, Master’s program, costuming, Husband, and needy cat I would be able to master all of these martial arts. Some of these people spend their whole lives mastering one and even then they are still learning. A little bit of everything is good enough for me but what if I wanted to master them all? I couldn’t. I couldn’t even begin to try.
This goes for the same with what I want to do for a living. I would love to work on comic books inking or coloring but this takes time to build a portfolio and get out there. My frequenting con’s has helped me make connections which is great and one of the reasons I go, but how long could this realistically take for me to accomplish? A long time, especially with all of the other things I want to do…like building props and costumes for movies. I’m not saying I want to be the lead designer or anything, I just want to help build stuff, work on a part of a costume or prop. Even this could take forever to meet the right people and get known. Again attending con’s helps with this but it’s still not a guarantee.
This is why I’ve decided I need to ust start doing what I want to do for that simple reason, life’s too short and I want to die saying I at least attempted to do everything and anything I felt like I wanted to accomplish. Now I’m not saying I’m going to leave my job and start wandering the land looking for sensei’s to teach me kenpo while I build costumes from trash bags to make money while I’m on the road… (although that’s a pretty cool idea…) I just want to stop being apprehensive or scared to try new things for fear of failure or embarrassment. Ever since I was a little girl I’ve been so shy until recently. I want to keep going in this direction and embrace the unknown, fearless and confidant that I will go on and I will have fun doing so.
There’s also the fact that I don’t want to accept that the people I love are all getting older and some are leaving this world sooner that I want to accept. I don’t want to get to that point and realize that I haven’t done what I wanted to in life. I also don’t want to be so scared of losing people that I love that I don’t involve them in my life as much as I could, even if that means sharing things that aren’t commonly known or accepted as progress towards a possible career such as props and comic books. I want to be unapologetic about what I like and do. This is me and I won’t change it for anything. I love this feeling of “the world is my oyster” (man me and these cliche’ sayings…) and I’m going to run with it.
Relating more to the purpose of this blog, I’ve said why I want to work on comic books, movies, and be an MMA fighter, this is why i like costuming.
I’ve always had a hard time finding my place in the art world, I have a very hard time just creating things from my imagination. I’ve always been a realist and have had to use a reference to draw, paint, or sculpt. Costuming is finally a form of art that it is completely acceptable to use something for reference, and one that I’m very good at! This is where my skill lies is in detailed reproduction. You don’t know how good it feels to finally find something you’re almost effortlessly good at (I use effortlessly very lightly, most of these have required much effort!!). I’ve decided that I need and like doing this and I’m not going to stop. Hopefully something comes from it like a career but if it doesn’t I’m still having fun and that’s what matters.
Here’s my 80% completed domino with improved make-up. I just need to re-dye my hair, paint my nails, and make the domino necklace and she’ll be done!
And here’s my finished Widow boots